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Turn this independent woman into a housewife… please?

February 26, 2010

After a marathon day at work (9 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.) last week I trudged through the rain, heated up some leftovers, curled up on my couch, turned on Desperate Housewives and commenced to drink myself to sleep. Sad yes, but I needed that me time after such a stressful day (and week) at work.

Somewhere between the cabernet and the sauvignon, an epiphany came to me. I’ve got the game all backwards! I decided right then and there that I want, no I must, become a housewife when I grow up!

Yeah I said it!

Now, I’m not trying to be a Real Housewife of Atlanta or a gold digger or anything like that. I’m just saying why can’t I aspire to marry rich and live life to the fullest like the good old days? (yeah that sounded better in my head) My great-grandmother and grandmother are both college educated women. I mean, they taught school a little but for the most part their biggest worries from day-to-day were what to wear while vacuuming the new carpet (sweeping the hardwood floor in my great-grandmother’s case) and what to cook for dinner.

Imagine if those were your only worries?

I mean, the field that I work in would allow me to work part time or from home if I really wanted to keep working (which I’m sure I would in order to keep my sanity). My paycheck would be be my mad money, a reward for my hard work in addition to my duties of keeping house… and taking care of the children. Just think about how much my future children would benefit from having their mom on call 24 hours a day?

I’m just saying.

The only reason why I feel guilty is because from Day 1 I’ve always been told to be independent… “Don’t rely on no man” is how my mom put it but I don’t wanna work… I just wanna play.

Now I understand the dangers of not setting yourself up for a career in the working world but… if I’m willing to take that risk, is it really so bad that all I really want to do is be a housewife?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 26, 2010 2:47 pm

    Nope. Not so bad at all. BTW, no one should ever make you feel bad about wanting anything.

    I’m a bit older than you, and from a pretty “traditional” background. So my take on this is coming from a different angle.

    I was raised to be a housewife. A housewife with a professional career – one that she’d promptly give up just as soon as she dropped her first kid. And then maybe, MAYBE, go back to work when the kids ALL hit first grade. Because women stayed home with the kids.

    And I rebelled against that. Not sorry that I did. But I can see the beauty in it. Because the women I grew up with, the ones who get to stay home for a few years and raise their kids. Who get to work shorter hours and less challenging jobs because no one expects them to break the glass ceiling. They have a pretty good deal.

  2. February 26, 2010 3:08 pm

    I think it’s perfectly natural to want either, or a decent mix of both.

    There is a great book on this topic called “Mommy Wars” by Leslie Morgan Steiner. It’s a collection of essays from every mom along the spectrum – full-time careerist to full-time stay-at-homer.

    Great post!

  3. February 26, 2010 5:17 pm

    Great post! I’m glad someone was bold enough to discuss this b/c my friend and I have been asking ourselves this same question.

    I was also raised to be a strong, independant, educated woman, free of male dependancy and now I feel since I have accomplished these things, I just wanna “play” too!

    I’m ready to start a family and i’ve been thinking more and more that I want to be around my kids 24/7 as well. I don’t have a problem cooking & cleaning and allowing my boyfriend to ‘bring home the bacon’.

    Imagine a life free of the demands, responsiblities and stresses of the working world. Sounds good to me.

    Just know that you are not alone and there are more and more women asking theirselves this question.

  4. Being Samiantha permalink
    March 2, 2010 10:24 am

    Love this post.
    Although I’m never having children (not cos I dont like them) I’ve wanted to be a wife mroe than anything.

    I dont need a man for anything, I have my own power tools, I can do repairs, and build things. I, however WANT a man. I love the idea of keeping a home, nesting and doting on my man as much as he would for me.

    If I was to have kids, I like the idea of being able to work p/t having my own money and raising my kids in an enviroment with both parents available and fortunate enough to be able to have one stay home.

  5. March 2, 2010 4:47 pm

    I think this is an issue that isn’t discussed enough and when it is brought up it seems to be in a negative light with people who want to be a housewife being painted as gold diggers.

    The thing about it is the expectations of women/mothers have changed so drastically and for men they are only expected to do less. Men are no longer expected to be the breadwinner and support the entire family 100% financially…but now women are expected to hold down all of the duties of the housewife plus bring home a large share of the bacon. It’s unrealistic to expect a woman to do it all and every couple should discuss how to handle things. If it’s an option for one person to stay home then great…if not, then both people need to pitch in.

    • Sammie permalink
      November 1, 2010 4:56 pm

      I agree this isnt discussed enough. I am 19 living with my boyfriend. I love cleaning and having things organized. I have two jobs so I dont understand why men are babied and treated like they dont have to worry about anything but bring home the bacon. I have to say women are definately the stronger sex.

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