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Don’t forget the candles

March 23, 2010

In case you didn’t know a girls birthday is the most important day of the year. I’ll let you marinate on that for a second. I know what you’re thinking, what about Valentine’s Day and Christmas I can assure you that although those days are important they don’t even come close to comparing to the day we were born.  A problem I’ve noticed as I have gotten older is that because most men don’t celebrate their birthdays the same way women do, they don’t understand its importance.

It never fails, when I’m dating a guy, my birthday will make or break our relationship. I will make a note of what time he called, what he did for me and how he made me feel. Take my birthday last year, I had 2 separate celebrations in recognition of day of my birth. I wanted everyone to know it was my birthday and soaked up as much special treatment as humanly possible. From strangers to close friends, I wanted to be treated like the queen that I am. Of course I pretended to be more bashful then I really am in order to gain more attention. At the time I was seeing someone and he was the first person to call me when the clock struck 12:00. Although it was early in our courtship. I took note.

I remember a few years ago a guy I was seeing didn’t call me on my birthday. By the time 11:30pm came I was livid!! Between dancing on chairs and taking shots (that was the 2nd time I’ve ever been drunk) I was checking my phone for his missed call. It never came. Asshole. He did call early the next morning vehemently apologizing. Instead of admitting he forgot he made up some elaborate lie explaining why he couldn’t call. All I heard when he spoke was blah blah blah… I’m so sorry…blah blah blah…I couldn’t get to a phone…blah blah blah…I hope you can forgive me.

This man had 24 hours to make a simple phone call. Since he lived a couple thousand miles away for college, a simple phone call was all I needed. Shortly after this incident we parted ways. For a while soon after I tried to get over it but I couldn’t. I mean it was my birthday for goodness sake. It was unforgivable that he didn’t call and it showed me that he wasn’t as interested as he made himself seem. His loss.

Even this past weekend I was talking to a girlfriend about the gift her boyfriend of 3+ years gave her: a birthday card and $50 cash. Please understand that you are not my Nana. I don’t need cash unless I asked which I would never wrapped up in a card and signed I love you. Its the thought that counts remember.  There was no thought in that gift. Although he remembered her birthday, step 1, he didn’t actually put any effort into making her feel special, step 2. A part of me believes he thought that was a great gift. I can tell you now cash and gift cards are not special gifts. Think harder.

Trust me, if you make sure you’re the first person to call her when 12 o’clock hits and she feels like you put in some effort to make her day special, you’ll most likely be the last person she says goodnight to when her day is over.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 23, 2010 9:24 am

    Agreed….birthdys are the MOST important time of the years for girls…my last birthday I actually finally started to date a guy because of the effort he put into making me feel special (taking off work, taking me out, awesome gift) and overall showing that he really cared…cash & a card not so much…HOWEVER I DO accept giftcards though…

  2. March 23, 2010 9:37 am

    Yes, agreed 100%

    I think the most annoying thing is when I start dating someone and their Bday comes around before mine. I get real tentative because as a “bday person” I will do the nice things (within reason depending on how long we’ve been together) but if a few months later my bday rolls around and things are handled poorly… that means theres a lack of reciprocity as well. Its hard to bounce back from that.

  3. March 23, 2010 11:29 am

    What I haven’t figured out if guys are just clueless about how important birthdays are or if they know what’s right and just don’t do it for girls they don’t really care about. Me and almost every woman I know has dealt with a guy who dropped the ball for the birthday. Anyway, I think $50 and a card is kind of jank (especially after 3 years!) The only reason you should give someone money is if it’s actually the best possible gift. For instance if someone is going on a trip for their bday spending money would be a great gift.

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