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He Tiger Woods’d Me!

April 2, 2010

Yes, I know the subject has been dragged through the ground and beat with the ugly stick twice but here we are again, talking about cheating. A friend of mine from college called me the other day to tell me that her boyfriend of 3+ years has been cheating on her, with multiple women, some married. The sad part is, this isn’t the first time. And as I much as I hate to say this, once a ___ always a ___. I never know what to say to friends in these situations because one of two things can happen;

1) She will stay with him

2) She will not stay with him

Whatever decision she makes, I must maintain an unbiased attitude and try to be as supportive as possible. Which is hard when I really want to tell her to, for lack of a better term, “Fuck his shit up!”. But I can’t fuel something I know will only end up hurting her in the long run. I stayed on the phone with her as she vented about how they were supposed to move in together and how the day before she found out about his cheating ways, she would have eagerly accepted a marriage proposal. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve been cheated on or the fact that I don’t judge her or give her advice, but I’m always the first to know when things like this happen. After she hung up with me, I texted her some hours later to make sure she was ok. She was; at least physically.

With all the recent celebrity infidelity, cheating has become the new black. So what does this mean for us regular folk? Are men learning from these mishaps? Are women watching their men even closer? It’s hard to tell, but one thing is for sure- cheating will never go out of style. Shouts out to Elin and Sandra, keep ya heads up!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 2, 2010 2:28 pm

    Unfortunately cheating is something that will never go away. If you are lucky you will find someone who won’t cheat on you…but the reality is you can’t put anything past anyone. So many people are willing to rationalize cheating. “Well he/she wasn’t doing this enough” or “that enough”….you name it, someone will say it (and probably believe it). People rarely take accountability for their lack of restraint, trustworthiness, loyalty, and decency and blame the other person. To me that’s where the biggest emotional and mental problems with cheating arise. As if it isn’t bad enough that someone sleeping around behind your back can be physically dangerous to your health, the blame and shame that comes with being cheated on is destructive. I’m not one to jump up and proclaim that someone needs to dump their cheating mate, because it probably won’t make any difference what I say. But at some point when you keep getting cheated on you have to accept that things are not going to change and you have to take responsibility for subjecting yourself to it.

  2. Mr. Fantastic permalink
    April 2, 2010 8:33 pm

    I agree Reecie, basically at some point you become partly responsible for it. Not to say that anyone who gets cheated on DESERVES it, but if you “allow” it, then why should your mate change their behavior?

    Jay-Z sums it up “That’s your fault, how many times you forgiven me?/How was I to know you was plain sick of me?”

    I guess this ties into the “Step yo game up” article.

    • Reecie permalink
      April 2, 2010 9:59 pm

      Yeah that was my point…after a certain part you aren’t the “victim” you are complicit by subjecting yourself to that treatment.

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