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Can I have your Facebook??

April 23, 2010

I’m sorry when did we as generation X become so lazy? Why are young adults (not just men) becoming so freaking lazy. I cannot even begin to express the disdain and disgust I felt when a guy asked me to add him to my Facebook account last week. Really? Has it come to this?

A few months ago I was already having a hard time understanding why a guy I had known for about 20 minutes asked to be added to my Blackberry Messenger. I was sitting in a bar, bored out of my ever loving mind, when a cute guy approached me. We exchanged a few sentences and established interest in each other. He asked to take me to dinner at another time and I happily agreed. Then he pulled out his Blackberry and asked me to display my Blackberry Barcode. He must have seen the look on my face because he immediately followed with a request for my phone number to go along with it.

Rewind a few months before  that and I was writing bitching about meeting men who would get my phone number and proceed to text only, including when setting up an outing.**

Men have gone from texting, to AIMing, to Email, to BBM and now they’re lazy asses are adding me on Facebook? If he would have asked for MySpace I would have spontaneously combusted.

What’s next Twitter?

Am I too old fashioned? Is wanting a guy to ask for my phone number and then proceed to calling me and leaving a voicemail (if I’m busy) asking for too much? If I’m wrong, I don’t want to be right. I’d rather be a part of the quickly vanishing pool that still uses my cell phone to call and talk to people.

I know asking for a number is harder than texting, I know having a verbal conversation before going out takes effort and requires working through nerves versus pulling up a BBM screen. I expect from the men who pursue me to call. Notice I didn’t say boys. This lazy generation of boys will continue to get no play from me as long as they insist on stepping to me this way. I refuse to partake in such lazy, half ass gestures of interest. If you would like to get to know me better ask for my phone number.

*drops keyboard and exits cyberspace left*

**This post mainly refers to initial contact and interaction.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. April 23, 2010 7:39 am

    Maybe it’s ok to start off with texting but if he can ONLY communicate via written for, and he can’t express himself verbally then there’s a problem. SO of course talking on the phone is way better then communicating in written for but us ladies have to remember that SOME guys are really good guys and may just be nervous. There is no pressure with a text. You can kind of ease your way in through text.

    But then if the two of you are feeling each other, phone calls are a must. Text can get dangerous, never being able to truly gage how someone really feels because they put “lol” behind everything. You can’t decipher the tone in which someone is relating their point and therefore text does not truly allow you to get to know the person.

    Just my opinion.


    • April 23, 2010 9:32 am

      Texting only is not my thing. It may be okay for other people but I let it be known when a guy gets my number that I prefer a call. If I mention my dislike for primarily texting twice and he continues only texting, then he’s just not the guy for me.

  2. Youngbuck permalink
    April 23, 2010 7:45 am

    Yo I think that’s crazy but then again maybe I’m a little old school. I was out there getting numbers and calling before text messaging was even invented. Silent, I think that if you want someone now-a-days to call you, you are going to have to let them know. Or you are going to have to only deal with older men. Men that were in college in the 90s . In the 90s we had no choice other than to call a person and that is what we are use to. I text but that would never have been my first method of contact, I think that is insane, nothing beats her hearing your voice after shes been waiting for you to call.

    I totally agree with you, make these dudes work and stop being lazy.


  3. Mr. Fantastic permalink
    April 23, 2010 10:01 am

    I do not condone the Facebook, BBM, Text only craze, but I do understand it. Here’s why. If I check out your fb, its like getting to see your social resume before I get into talking and investing time and gives you the same opportunity. If I go to your page and you P-poppin on the hand stand in your profile pic and your status is something to the effect of you lookin’ for hoodrat activities to get into with your friends, I can probably make a relatively firm decision that you’re not gonna work out before we get any further. It also cuts out the randomly finding out that you’re best friends with my mortal enemy. I dunno, I might be reaching. I’m actually kind of tired. Like now, I’m just rambling away and I could really stop typing all of the things that are in my head because it doesn’t make sense to continue to do so.

    But I’ve digressed, calling is definitely better, but texting has given some power to the less confident who want to BEGIN talking to a beautiful lady like the Scorpion and the rest of the Cerealers. Its like a toe in the water before you jump in.

    • April 23, 2010 10:13 am

      LOL!! You are definitely reaching in your first paragraph. Totally reaching. I don’t even like adding men on Facebook I’m dating early in the stages of courting because then they can “stalk” my page and learn things about me that they would otherwise find out through conversation. The art of conversation is so lost, I’m not trying to be a causality to technology.

      And yes I know texting is easier for the less confident, but dating is not supposed to be that easy. I get nervous when I have to call a guy back too. But I do it. I find my confidence and do it. Plus texting is a new form and as you can see from my examples, people aren’t even dipping their toes in before they jump. They’re grabbing a freaking thermometer!! Scary asses.

      • Grace Adler permalink*
        April 23, 2010 11:03 am

        Lol @Mr Fantastic facebook is kind of like your dating resume and can give you all the information you need to know before you decide if you want to talk to someone. I met a guy recently that told me he was gonna hit me up on facebook . I have yet to get that friend request, maybe he saw someone or something he didn’t like lol.

        @silent I don’t think it’s always about someone being scared to call it’s just more convenient. Most people don’t have the time to make a phone call but a text or bbm takes seconds. And bbm convos can be just as intimate as a phone call. I actually feel closer to a guy that I can have day long bbm convos with. I agree that the phone call is important, but I don’t penalize a man that doesn’t call me.

    • Youngbuck permalink
      April 23, 2010 11:16 am

      I can feel you with the facebook thing LMAO p poppin on a hand stand! LOL I definateley see how that could be useful!

  4. April 23, 2010 11:12 am

    @Grace We can agree to disagree on this one. BBM is in no way shape or form intimate to me. It couldn’t get any less intimate for me as a matter of fact (well I guess besides Twitter and Facebook.) I said it before and I’ll say it again. I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record BUT no one is that busy and people make time for what they want. I don’t need a long 4 hour phone exchange but 10 minutes isn’t asking for too much.

    Dating is not supposed to be completely convenient or easy. It takes time and work just like a relationship. I’m all about compromise but come on son, this is going way too far.

    • Grace Adler permalink*
      April 23, 2010 12:57 pm

      10 mins isn’t enough time to get to know someone even it is on a regular basis. And thanks to technology dating is easy and convenient. But if you prefer the old fashioned way there are plenty of “brothers”(old men) who would love to call you from their rotary phone, although it make take 10 mins for them to just to dial your number lol.

      • April 23, 2010 3:21 pm

        LOL. I’m not trying to get to know anyone through technology, unless he’s so intriguing we stay on the phone for hours without realizing it. Texting, bbmin, etc is not for conversations. The occasional: I was thinking about you or hope you’re having a good day is fine BUT we will not have an entire conversation through our phones and think we’re dating. Thats what in person contact is for.

        I’ll stick to my grown not old men.

        Ol similac chaser. lol

  5. Mr. Fantastic permalink
    April 23, 2010 1:53 pm

    Dead @ Grace and the Rotary Phone…

  6. Reecie permalink
    April 26, 2010 9:37 am

    Silent I am with you on this one. When I was dating it was INSULTING how lazy men were when it came to reaching out. It got to the point where if your first point of contact was a text then I just flat out ignored it. I believe if a man is interested enough he will pick up the phone and call. Getting to know me and to date me isn’t about convenience, it’s about putting in effort. Picking up the phone is the most basic aspect of that and is not negotiable. Unfortunately it’s something that so few women expect these days that it makes you look more high maintenance.

    • April 26, 2010 12:55 pm

      According to my male friends I am high maintenance. But they say its a good thing because I have expectations for the men I date. I guess I didn’t realize how many women don’t have those.

  7. sojazzy1 permalink
    April 27, 2010 10:06 am

    I totally agree!!!! But i’ve been calling myself ol’ skool for the longest. And to top it off I get bored easily so if the only thing you can do is text me “Hey how you doin” for a week how do you expect to get a REAL conversation! The sad thing is I had an older man give in to the ease of technology. He was 38 and all he did was text for a whole week until I just got bored with it.

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