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He’s Not That Into You…Or Is He?

April 27, 2010

Attention Ladies (chris rock voice) if a man is nice to you it does not always mean he is interested in you. With men its hard to tell if this is the case because 95% of the time, if a guy is nice to you its because he’s attracted to you in some way. I have living proof of this with based on what happened on my last vacation:

I was running late for my flight as usual, and a guy behind me tried to make small talk about our long check-in wait. Because I was so focused on making my flight, I brushed him off. As he walked in front of me toward our gate I started to check him out. Masculine walk (not gay), nice build, and clothes. When we were seated I got the frontal view, straight white teeth, dimples, long eyelashes, beautiful dark skin. Perfect!

I  cursed at myself for not being attentive earlier. Then a woman sat down next to him. They talked the entire flight I was almost sure that they had made a love connection and I had missed my chance. Luckily, we were given one more chance to speak when we changed planes. He stopped me, and made a joke about getting on the next flight.  We had a short conversation and boarded our next flight. I found out we were both going to the same place and that he was a college grad. When we landed at our final destination I knew we would have ample time to talk and possibly exchange numbers at baggage claim. I learned more about my future husband new acquaintance, we had a few mutual friends and he told me he was “visiting some friends from college”-we’ll get back to that part. Then he asked me if I needed a ride from the airport. Now, normally I don’t accept rides from strangers, but he was so damn charming I couldn’t say no and his mom was picking him up.

While I was thinking about how cute him and his mom’s relationship was, and what colors we were going to have in our wedding, his mom got a phone call that he picked up for her. The woman on the phone asked where he was staying while he was here….ready for this…he said his GIRLFRIEND’S HOUSE!


I tired to pretend like his words didn’t phase me but I remained quiet the rest of the ride. When I arrived at my destination I thanked his mother and he gave me a hug and he said it was nice meeting me. Jerk!

Ladies how can you tell if a guy is just being nice to you or is interested/attracted to you? Guys, do you act differently when you are flirting versus just being friendly?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 27, 2010 1:33 pm

    interesting post. i’ve always told women this. just because a man is nice to you he doesn’t always have to try or want to get in your pants. he probably was attracted to you, which explained why he was so attentive but he understood he had a girlfriend. i’m nice to most people that i meet in public because that’s the type of person i am.

    funny story: i was in the club one time and i saw this fairly attractive woman. as i walked up and tapped her on her shoulder, she turned and gave me the stank look as if i shouldn’t be bothering her. as she turned around i tapped her again. she got ready to curse me out before i told her that she had toilet tissue on the bottom of her shoe and walked away. she had a look of sheer embarrassment on her face. lol

    • Grace Adler permalink*
      April 27, 2010 1:41 pm

      LMAO, that’s what she gets, i can’t stand women who think every man that says hi to them is trying to talk to them. But it can be confusing sometimes since most of the time they are. I guess the best way to handle it is to assume he isn’t interested unless he says otherwise….

  2. Reecie permalink
    April 27, 2010 2:02 pm

    I’m from the “you gotta spell it out” school of thought when it comes to men being interested. Anything short of “can I have your phone number” means nothing to me and I don’t spend any time thinking about whether he is interested or not until those words come out of his mouth. I think for the longest I had a sign written on my forehead that said “Hey waste my time” because there were plenty of times when a guy would hem me up all night…cock block on anyone who tried to talk to me, and totally monopolize my time only to get my number and never call. Those jerks probably had a girl at home (despite claiming otherwise) but wanted to see if they still had game. So my point is…you don’t know if a guy is into you until he picks up the phone and calls you for the first time, then makes plans to take you out. Flirtatious comments, looks, a great conversation, even getting your number mean nothing.

    • April 27, 2010 2:09 pm

      “you don’t know if a guy is into you until he picks up the phone and calls you for the first time, then makes plans to take you out. Flirtatious comments, looks, a great conversation, even getting your number mean nothing.”

      i agree 100% with this.

      • Jane permalink
        April 27, 2010 3:55 pm

        MadScientist – Great point!!! That clears it up a lot.
        No phone call and no follow thru = not interested.

        I’ve always been a believer that men and women alike, like the idea that someone finds them attractive.

        You make small talk exchange numbers, but what it really comes down too is, you’re just flattered people still find you worthy. 🙂

  3. Jane permalink
    April 27, 2010 3:53 pm

    I call it NETWORKING!

    He was attracted to you but alas has a g/f….for now.
    When he doesn’t he may end up calling you.

    It’s funny who you will meet randomly.

    Great post!

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