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Things I learned from my last non-relationship

May 3, 2010
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You know how every time you talk to a new guy you learn more about your personal taste- what kind of guy you like vs. what kind you need etc. etc.

Here’s a few things I learned from the last guy:

No more blonds: The boy wasn’t dumb by any means but he was far from smart. Ok that’s harsh but what I really mean is that he didn’t do very much thinking for himself (despite what he might say) and he was pretty simple-minded (but aren’t all men?).

He turned out to be a ]liar so the jury is still out on whether or not this is the truth but there was a point in our non-relationship where I asked him something about us and he quoted an answer his friend gave him. I’m sure he didn’t see a problem with that but I did.

Now to be fair, I consult my girls for shit too (everything really) but I also blatantly deviate from their advice often (just ask them). For me, they’re there to tell me what people would usually do, or what they would do in my situation… simple-minded men don’t understand that that doesn’t mean that’s what you SHOULD do. Now I know I can’t mess with a dude with dumb ass friends, esp. not if he’s gonna follow their dumb ass advice.

(sidenote: Isn’t it funny how men tell us not to listen to our girls when they live and die by their friends’ advice?)

Avoid idle minds:  It bothered me that he had so much free time. Wait, not that he had so much free time so much as the fact that he wasn’t doing shit with it.

He was relatively accomplished for a guy his age (I guess) but he always talked about wanting more, which I feel he could’ve had had he focused his energies on accomplishment instead of just hanging out …and now that I think about it, dividing his time between me and her.

Yeah… too much idle time = all bad

Waiting period: Not for sex… Still don’t believe in those. You should just do it when you get ready (I mean just not too soon)

I’m saying there should be a waiting period on letting him into your life. I knew this already but its been four years since I was even tempted to share my heart with someone… So I guess maybe, he caught me off guard?

He made me very comfortable and it just felt right but now I know I need to make a conscience effort to stop that from happening again by enforcing some rule, some time restriction.

Vet, vet, vet: its not that I didn’t check out his story, I just didn’t dig deep enough because that’s not really my style.

Him being as shady as he was was a shock to pretty much everyone around me. My male friends will probably call what he did a mistake but with as many stories as I heard about him after we were done… I can’t agree. Granted it’s all hearsay but hearsay lingers longest.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Reecie permalink
    May 3, 2010 9:15 am

    I wonder what this guy did because he must have really screwed up!

    Anyway…I think the most important thing you said is vet, vet, vet. It’s important to listen and ask pertinent questions when a guy is telling you a story. In the beginning I always let the guy do most of the talking, I respond in a neutral way, and I evaluate everything he does and says. If you’re paying close enough attention then it’s hard for a man to pull the wool over your eyes for too long. If you aren’t taking a guy too seriously, then being nonchalant isn’t a big deal…but if you are interesting in something serious then it’s important to stay on your toes.

  2. May 3, 2010 9:49 am

    “(sidenote: Isn’t it funny how men tell us not to listen to our girls when they live and die by their friends’ advice?)”

    – i don’t think most men do this. actually most times i don’t go to friends for relationship advice. i have maybe two people in my life that seek advice from. neither of them are male friends.

    i agree with you on the idle minds thing. i’m always doing something. if not at school, in the lab i’m at the gym or at various meetings or doing community service. i don’t understand how people can just have down time doing nothing. get a hobby or something. lol

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  1. Post from Cereal Daters: Things I Learned from My Last Non-Relationship « Kckool's Blog

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