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King of Mixed Signals

August 16, 2010
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I hate that this might be fueling the whole theory that people only want what they can’t have. Or the theory that when we hate something, it actually means that we secretly like it but, last week I went out with that one guy I keep complaining about and lo and behold I actually had fun!

We had good conversation, he was funny, he expressed how glad he was that I finally came out with him (I don’t know where he got “finally” from since this was technically the only time he actually asked me out) everything was all good until he slipped in, as part of a story he was telling, the phrase “this girl I’m talking to…”

Wait what???

I didn’t even hear what he said after that little nugget of information. Now don’t get me wrong, I could care less that he’s talking to someone because technically WE aren’t talking (things tend to fizzle out like that when you never talk on the phone and rarely see one another.) I just can’t believe that he said it. And not even that it was said but because it was a totally unsolicited comment.

Wait… Did I just get friend-zoned? As he continued his story about whatever the fuck, I was mentally re-evaluating: I’m here because he asked me to come, he said he really wanted to see me, he’s flirting, he already asked me when I’m going to go out with him again. The word “Date” was used. But why in the heck did he just mention that girl????

Was it a slip? Naw couldn’t be…

Yes I over analyze now just tell me why the King of Mixed Signals (yay he finally got a blog name!) said that?!?!?

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. August 16, 2010 8:23 am

    lol well I can say I like his style. He’s smart, if I were him I’d do the same thing, and when he did it he probably got just what he wanted. A reaction, now your probably more interested in him today then you would of had he not mentioned this other girl he is “dating” (I doubt a little that he is actually cares about this other chick). Well all I’m really saying is that wasn’t quite a mixed signal more him seeing if you like him in return.

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 16, 2010 8:31 am

      Games smh …why is that even necessary? Or perhaps it isn’t, just good strategy? lol

      • Grace Adler permalink*
        August 16, 2010 8:54 am

        I feel like this would have worked better if he didn’t tell you this but rather you found out through some other means…you still couldn’t be mad because yall aren’t together. But he still draws you in by you knowing rather than assuming that you aren’t the only girl hes talking to.

      • August 16, 2010 1:03 pm

        I just think it is a good strategy…and there is no way of really being sure of her knowing because it may not be true at all….I just think he had his one shot with you, you have been dodging him on dates he didn’t know when he would get another chance so he took his shot…. I like his style lol

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 16, 2010 9:00 am

      Had I stumbled upon it, it would’ve been much more affective. This feels contrived… like it’s mind games.

      • Grace Adler permalink*
        August 16, 2010 3:45 pm

        exactly that was my point, he was a little to obvious

  2. August 16, 2010 8:44 am

    what’s wrong with him saying that he was also dating someone else? aren’t you also dating someone else? it could be possible that he’s just making it known that while he may be into you, you’re not his only option. i really don’t see anything wrong with it.

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 16, 2010 8:59 am

      There’s nothing wrong with him doing it but him telling me out of the clear blue like that? That’s gotta be poor etiquette or something… It’s just rude. It would’ve been different if it were the topic of conversation and I asked or something. Ya know?

      • August 16, 2010 10:50 am

        i got you. you’re not upset at what he said but the timing of it. in that case i can see where you are coming from.

  3. August 16, 2010 9:11 am

    Why would a man admit to you that he is talking to another woman? Hmmm
    A. So you won’t get too invested too soon?
    #emotional distance
    B. So you know he is not waiting for you or depending on you for his long term happiness?
    #notgonnasweatyou
    C. So you realize his time is valuable because he has options, when he chooses to spend that time
    with you?
    #qualitytime
    D. So you realize that if you want this man in your life your going to have to earn your place in
    his life the same way he is trying to earn a space in your life?
    #competition
    E. Because he a Pimp Daddy and such a man will tell you from the get where you stand so you
    can choose to hang and …. or peeve and leave. 😉
    #indifference

    Here is an idea. Ask him! If its not important enough an issue to start a dialogue with him, then drop it. Forget about it. Its no good wracking your brain about questions you refuse to ask. What matters is you had a good time together. You have another rich memory of fun to reminisce about.
    You can choose now to add to those memories with him or not. Your options are to go with the flow, lead, or leave.

    Go with the flow means just enjoy the moment and stop thinking about his motives. He is a man and its safe to think he wants to get you naked. If you care about his motives it means your thinking long term and if that is the case, you should be leading.

    By leading I mean have intention to build a foundation for this relationship to build on. You do this by making your desires known from the beginning. He will either choose to work with you or leave.

    Leaving is moving on and maintaining your distance from this man so you can find one who will work with you to attain the long term goals you want out of a relationship.

    The biggest problem women have with men results from a woman’s failure to lead.

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 16, 2010 9:15 am

      This has been an overly close reading of the Cereal Daters blog… please stay tuned for more snarky comments to come after this commercial break.

  4. August 16, 2010 9:40 am

    I actually had a grown man say that if you’re dating and want a ring…have ur homeboy call at midnight when ure with ur guy and he’ll propose in 2 months after yall make up and he probably cheats. The key is answering so he can hear a deep voice

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  1. Date Report Card: King of Mixed Signals Edition « I Hate the Way You Eat Cereal

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