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Pet Peeve “I used to have a crush on you”

August 30, 2010

This song doesn’t really match but I love it!

No you didn’t. How do I know? I know this because I know this.

Let me tell you who I was in high school and college… honestly.

In high school, I was the pretty girl (not the baddest but still pretty) who was more concerned with making sure my grades were cool and homework was done so I could stay out late on school nights going to the Poetry Lounge on Fairfax (you know, way back in the early 2000’s before you knew about it), than anything else. Was I popular? Yes and no. In the sense that I knew everyone (courtesy of my older basketball playing boyfriend) but I was never one to be thirsty on the popular crowd. When people ask me if I was popular in high school (as if it should matter all these years later) I say “I wasn’t popular but all of my friends were.” …I had the one boyfriend in 11th grade that carried over through college and I never had any overt crushes on anyone in particular prior to that just because as I said, it was B.O.B. (books over boys) fa life!

In college, I let my nerd flag fly… this is just what you do when you go to a school that’s ranked Top 25 of all schools in the nation (yes I am bragging!). I was the sorority girl (with a 3.8 g.p.a.) whom you never saw in a library or on campus very much because I was likely in my bed watching Maury or at work… And again, I was popular by association, not because I was after the homecoming crown (which I never got, or tried to get) but because well, people just knew me. Then I had the boyfriend Junior year that carried on until post college…

I mention all of this because I want you to have some context for the following.

If I had a dollar for every time I run into someone from high school or college and they confess to me “I used to have a huge crush on you,” I’d have enough money to buy the flux capacitor that I need to drive them back to the future to show them the time period they’re speaking of and remind them how little they paid attention to me.

Every one of these guys tells me “But you were with _________ so you know.” No I don’t  know, because where were you before __________ came along?

My two theories:

1. Guys are really more like girls than we thought, and they get more attracted to a person when they get in a relationship.

Girls do this all the time. A guy with a girl is all of a sudden attractive, especially if they’re in a happy long term relationship. I feel like these guys might have passed me in the hallways a million times without a second look until the star of the basketball team is overlooking the head cheerleader to get at me, captain of the debate team. Then it’s like, “Those glasses she’s rocking are kind of sexy and she is kind of thick.”

2. This is game.

Because why are you telling me now? Even if it were true why are you telling me this sir? So I can be all in my head like “Oh that’s so sweet… you were always feeling me?”

OK someone explain this phenomenon which happens to double as the bane of my existence. What’s with all the guys coming out of the woodworks to “confess” their secret crushes on the girl who didn’t get all that much play back in the day?

10 Comments leave one →
  1. August 30, 2010 6:31 am

    i think sometimes people are afraid of rejection. i know that’s why a lot of times in high school and college (especially) i didn’t let my crush know how i felt about them. sometimes you really think you don’t stand a chance with a person so you just admire them from afar. with that said i also can’t stand when women tell me they used to feel me. lol

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 30, 2010 8:23 am

      “With that said I also can’t stand when women tell me they used to feel me.”

      LOL exactly! Like FUCK are you kidding me?

  2. icecoldjd1906 permalink
    August 30, 2010 11:19 am

    I think people “say oh I used to have a crush on you” for two reasons 1) as a therapeutic way of moving on from their past. it has nothing to with the crush or 2) trying to act on their crush.

    In regards to therapeutic reason: I reflect back on when I was forced to admit to my homegirl i’ve known since the land before time(8th grade) that I had a crush on her in college,i think once i was able to admit it, i was able to move on. (Just for clarification purposes i did not have a crush on her from 8th grade to 12th grade).

    In regards to trying to act on their crush( also known as #boldtweet) i think it was to throw it out in the universe to see if she bites or having any mutual feelings. I remember when this girl told me this and it broke the ice cuz the feeling was mutual. (But i knew she liked me from her hoodless friend)

    • August 30, 2010 1:14 pm

      lol @ hoodless friend.

      One thing I have learned over the years is to take words with a grain of salt. It’s easy to say you had a crush on someone years ago…but it really doesn’t mean anything. I don’t think it’s something to offense to or be mad about…just be flattered and brush it off. If that person is still interested and you are also interested then it could serve as an ice breaker (as icecold said). If it’s just an FYI then no harm no foul.

  3. August 30, 2010 11:36 am

    @SilentScorpion: what you can’t have a crush on two different people? lol

    • Kerry Crenshaw permalink*
      August 30, 2010 1:43 pm

      Man you can but don’t be confessing crushes to two friends… esp. since you know we gonna compare notes later. “He told you that? Girl he told me too!” lol

  4. August 30, 2010 5:22 pm

    I know!!!!! Hearing “I would have married you” over a bottle of vodka when you’ve been loooong living a different life is titillating but strange a bit.

    Then on the other hand, to me people are are attached are NOT attractive (other than as human being), because I can’t have them. As a rule.

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