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The Streets Were Talking

October 13, 2010

Currently I’m trying to decide whether or not to return this text message. Last week I was at a party celebrating my sister’s 20 something even years on Earth when I ran into a  gentlemen I knew, lets call him RJ.  After catching up on our current events RJ reveals that he has had a crush on me (in so many words) but was unable to communicate due to his relationship. Now RJ is single and trying to mingle. Before I left the club, he asked me out. He said he would text me later to set things up. Let’s rewind a bit so I can bring you up to speed regarding my hesitation.

I have a  few reasons to be apprehensive about going out with him.  For one, the main reason I knew RJ was because the girl he was in a relationship with,  is a friend of a friend. I’m not even sure I’d consider her an acquaintance, considering I see her about 4 times a year.  And usually when I see her in the streets, we exchange hellos and keep it pushing. I even attended her birthday party this past year (mainly because I was bored and needed something to do.) This two degrees of separation isn’t the reason I haven’t responded.

My other yellow flag is that I know their relationship was filled with Chris Brown/Rihanna type arguments (minus the fists). I was a witness to one of these fights disagreements and can admit that most of the tacky, middle of a party yelling, was done by the girl and not him. I remember RJ sitting back and listening to her bitch about something and all he did was try and calm her down and remove her from the group setting. Again, this isn’t really the main reason I’m hesitating. I’m just trying to buy time before I spit it out.

In the realm of relationships, some girls talk about everything, so there are “other things” (read: sexual shortcomings) I know about RJ that have hurt his case. If I didn’t know all of these things, I would have quickly returned this text message and accepted the date. Because from all outwards appearances he’s a great catch, he is charming, cute and pretty darn entertaining. Unfortunately, for him, RJ doesn’t have the best reputation in my circle. Now I’m not sure what to do. Do I hold him accountable for his chemistry with her, or put those issues to the side and attempt to give him a fair chance?

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Grace Adler permalink*
    October 13, 2010 8:53 am

    Maybe he will be different with you. Maybe his ex caused him to act the way he did. Maybe the sex was just bad for her and could be excellent for someone else (read: you). And maybe I’m just too optimistic lol.

  2. October 13, 2010 9:04 am

    Let me understand this correctly. Your impression of this guy is that he is a great catch but your put off by a rumor he is not so good on bed. I would suggest taking a long hard look at your priorities.

    Take into consideration what two people in a successful long term relationship do the majority of their time together (and its not sex)

    It is my opinion that the majority of people who do not reach orgasm are people who think its the other persons responsibility to make it happen. Hold yourself accountable for your own orgasm and you will succeed the majority of the time (unless you have some underlying medical condition.)

    If your priority is short term passion, this is not the guy for you. If your priority is long term friendship, he might just fit the bill.

    • October 13, 2010 11:20 am

      Its always a pleasure to see your comments Ed. My priorities are fine. I’m looking for a mate who is compatible with me. And yes, that includes being satisfied sexually.

    • October 13, 2010 12:07 pm

      I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting someone who is sexually compatible. Some people have higher expectations than others do about what is good and not good in bed. It’s probably just not a great idea to take someone’s word for how good or bad someone is in bed.

      • October 13, 2010 4:08 pm

        I understand that. I’ve set up an outing. If its good, you won’t hear about it. If its bad…I’ll have something to blog about. Its a win win.

  3. October 13, 2010 9:31 am

    i say give him a fair chance. you aren’t friends with the girl and everyone’s chemistry is different.

  4. October 13, 2010 9:47 am

    I say give him a shot…like MadScientist said…everyone’s chemistry is different. No guy I’ve been with would have the same story to tell about what I’m like in the sack since it was entirely based on what that guy brought out of me at the time. I think it’s more important that your mate be willing to learn and adapt to what you like and vice versa.

    Don’t take what you’ve heard seriously and find out for yourself.

  5. shay permalink
    October 14, 2010 9:57 am

    i agree…give him a shot. For all you know she was the one that was bad in bed. But if he is a great catch, then why pass up on an opportunity. Besides, he’s only asking for a date, nothing more nothing less.

  6. icecoldjd1906 permalink
    October 18, 2010 3:12 pm

    i say give him a shot. Their sexual chemistry maybe the result of her.

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