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Something My Ex Boyfriend Said…

December 29, 2010

I used to keep a diary. Well to be honest, I kept diaries my whole entire life up until like a year ago. This morning, I found one of my more recent ones (from two years ago) I came across this and thought it was interesting:

(This post was written sometime in late 2007)
Last night I posted an away message(AIM)  that included my two theories on love, basically that,  1. Love is unconditional,  and 2. Love can be let go, it will return. “Michael” responds like this:
Him: Damn that’s deep you must be talking my boy “Jason” [My more recent ex-boyfriend]
Me: Never
Him: Shit I couldn’t tell.
Me: It says two theories on love, shit I learned.
Him: I noticed
Me: Well I’ve only been in love once…
*At this point I fell asleep and woke up to this:
Him: Damn
Him: I can’t speak
Him: I actually had something to tell you
Him. Oh well sooooo I’m leaving the country. I’m going to *insert foreign exotic country* for *insert fancy exotic overseas job* Not sure if I’ll get a chance to see you before I go [Editor’s note: he ultimately did though] sooo be safe and choose love wisely if you have a choice.  Never let a guy take you out of your element if he’s not worth it. Love you to death K.C.
I really hate him. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to take that. Like I seriously can’t wrap my mind around that right now. Is this a good or bad thing? I mean with him, could it ever be good? I do know one thing though, his comment about choosing love made me think about my current situation and what I should be doing about it. So is this a sign?
Oh how naive I was… That was definitely a sign that he was interested and I should run away as far as possible. I think when he talked about the guy who wasn’t worth it, he was speaking of himself. I was reading WAY too deeply into his comments if I thought it was anything else. This was the last time I was ever truly love sick and I hope not to ever be like that again. I’m disgusted… and very glad I kept a diary of the dumb shit I was thinking/feeling so I could look back and it and LEARN.
How long will it be before this blog serves the same purpose?
A friend of mine started a diary when she was going through a really bad break up. For a while after she was over it, it was hard for her to look through it.  Now, it serves as a great reminder of how foolish she could be/had been. She says that reliving her emotions through her old words really makes her understand how trivial something that used to seem so important, actually was. Maybe she’s on to something?
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